Friday, September 30, 2005

so hurt that it can blew me away
away from here...
away from where i belong
i juz wanna achieve eternality
where there is no pain

every night i m awake.
becuz of all those noises in my head
unable to shake it off.


life has it all..
juz live with it
believe in it..
let fate do the rest

arrgh!!!

my mind is twirling in a whirlpool.
cant stop..
i need sth to stop it..
juz sth..
but what is it...?

and yes.
i found it..
the thing lying by my side..
the shiny blade make me wanna take it.
but i cant
the whirlpool is getting bigger.
i need it!
right now right away!!
i reach out...
and yes!
i grab it..
looking at its beautiful shiny blade and the handle
make me wanna stab that painful thing inside me

something hold me up again.
its those thoughts and noises in my head..
stop it! stop it!
the horrible laughter, the bruises, the pain..
arrghh! stop it!
i must do it now!

i held it high in the air...
again the blade became visible and shiny in mid air...
this is it..
this is the time....
and finally.....
the blade was filled with blood once again..

so bloody..the pain is gone.
no longer have those thoughts in my head.
i m free at last...............

endin in bitterness & blood
princess's dream
at 4:22 PM

Monday, September 12, 2005

life has it all,
tears welled up my eyes
as i fight against sorrow and sadness.
the pain is excruisiating painful.
how to get out?
how to get over it?
i wanna know..
i wan it out now.
but what can i do?
what can i say..?

rain poured,
and tears dropped once more.
suddenly..
my mind juz went blank.
wad have i done?
why m i torturating myself?
why didnt i think of all the love ones around me?

reflecting again,
have i made them too hard to understand me?
juz wad m i hiding?
all these thoughts kept running thru my head.
i realise i had one thing left for me to do.

that is...
open up my heart.
i had to change..
there is a way..
but wad is the way?
why cant i juz figure it out.
if only i could,
i be able to get out of the darkness that i had fallen.

rain poured
as tears welled up my eyes.
and dropped to the table where i sat.

-this poem is for my half-cousin,benz.
hope u will like it..hehe..i meant no harm..hehe..if i did, sorry..sorry hee..hope u forgive me! hehe

endin in bitterness & blood
princess's dream
at 12:19 AM